Day 3? 4?

Skipped a day, so I don't know what to call this.

This is terrible, I've been feeling so good that the idea of documenting my recovery seems boring at best, maybe even depressing. Except I've now developed a slight anxiety that what I really have is bipolar disorder, better known as manic depression. Maybe bringing myself down to earth, getting a sense of perspective, is just what I need.

It's certainly true that, when my depression lifts, I tend to develop enthusiasms that, looked back on later, seem a little over-the-top. On Sunday, driving back from seeing my mum and dad (which went averagely well, I'd say), I was thinking about HDR photography, which I've read a little about recently. I got home about 5pm, and by soon after 7, I'd had a meal, located some cheapish HDR software with a free trial download (easyHDR), downloaded and installed it, taken a photo (actually three shots of the same scene at different exposures, which HDR requires), processed it using the software and printed the results.

OK, that's not really OTT. It says much more about the condition of IT and the web in 2006 than it does about my mental state. But what about this: about a year or so ago I developed an enthusiasm for micro-hydro-power: hydro-electric schemes designed to serve just one or at most a handful of households. I read all I could find on the web about it, joined an email list, surveyed the area near my house and identified two possible sites, gave very serious consideration to starting a business consulting and perhaps constructing such schemes, and reserved a place on a residential course about them. Now, I'm in my fifties, with no relevant background whatsoever, and physical problems (more about them in the not-too-distant future, I'm sure) that probably rule out construction work altogether for good. After a few days I came to my senses and got my deposit back for the course.

Maybe writing this is doing some good. That really doesn't seem so bad, now. A bit over-enthusiastic, yes, but probably not manic. Of course, what I should really do is check out the defining symptoms. I know one of them is going without sleep due to excitement over such things, but that certainly doesn't happen much, if ever. I had real trouble sleeping Sunday night, but I eventually realized that was due to excess caffeine intake, which I have to watch for because I'm really sensitive to it. Last night's sleep was relatively good. I woke up a few times, but got back to sleep quite quickly each time. Maybe my mood upswings are entirely natural, as a reaction to the depression lifting, and I just need to try to maintain a balance, keeping my feet on the ground.